Argentina will be ruled by a president and a junta of five dogs

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The New York Times

The center of Buenos Aires on Monday night seemed to celebrate the victory of the Argentine national team over France in the World Cup. Hundreds of residents took to the streets, raced down the boulevards in cars emblazoned with national flags, honked their horns, set off fireworks and chanted the refrain against the political elite: «Down with them all!»

Last Sunday’s presidential election was won by amateur outsider to domestic and world politics Javier Milei with 55.7 percent of the vote, beating professional left-of-center Economy Minister Sergio Massa, who got 44.3 percent, Argentina’s electoral authorities said. The National Electoral Chamber opened more than 106,000 polling stations across the country. Voting was compulsory for everyone from 18 to 70 years old and optional for children aged 16 to 17, respectable citizens over 71 and residents living abroad.

This choice will have a major impact on the immediate future of Argentina, which finds itself at a historical crossroads not only in its history but also in the socio-economic and political development of many Latin American countries, caught between left and right, Global South and Global North, between West and East.

The first to congratulate Milei was former US President Donald Trump, who said: «I’m very proud of you. You will turn your country around and truly Make Argentina Great Again!». Apparently, Trump will no longer be able to make «America Great».

Argentina’s current president, Alberto Fernandez, called Milei’s victory «a verdict of the people». Brazilian President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva wished Milei good luck, adding that it was important that «democracy is respected». Somewhat surprisingly, Chilean President Gabriel Boric, who, after «hailing Javier Milei for his victory and Sergio Massa for his honorable admission of defeat», promised the anarcho-capitalist-elect that he could always count «on our respect and support». Colombian President Gustavo Petro added dissonance to the leaders’ chorus, saying it was a «sad day» for South America.

White House National Security Adviser Jake Sullivan congratulated Mr. Milei and the people of Argentina and expressed his hope to develop «a strong bilateral relationship based on our shared commitment to human rights, democratic values and transparency». Sullivan apparently knows what kind of commitment one can expect from an «economist with a chainsaw» in domestic and international relations.

During the campaign, Milei waved a chainsaw on stage and smashed a piñata (a special brightly colored and decorated container of candy and toys that children break with sticks or bits to get to its contents — Auth.) on air — saying it was a symbolic act. He called Pope Francis a «filthy leftist» and American gangster Al Capone a «hero».

The challenges facing Milei are enormous. He will have to deal with empty government and central bank coffers, a $44 billion International Monetary Fund debt program, inflation approaching 150%, and a staggering array of financial control measures.

Milei’s victory was predictable, but still unexpected. The result gives Miley a mandate to fulfill his campaign promises, including abandoning the peso in favor of the U.S. dollar and closing the Central Bank.

The promised shock therapy dooms Argentina to deep uncertainty, with some economists warning that dollarizing the economy to the tune of $622 billion at a time when international reserves are depleted could push the South American nation into another bout of hyperinflation.

A victory for Milei would radically alter Argentina’s political landscape and economic map, and could affect trade in grains, lithium and hydrocarbons.

A victory for the underdog «free market» theorist could at the same time be dramatic for Brazil and China, Argentina’s two leading trading partners. Trade with them totaled about $55 billion last year, nearly three times that with the United States.

Milei said throughout his election campaign that he would freeze relations with the economic powers because they are «communists». And went so far as to call China a «murderer». He will also sever all relations with BRICS, of which Argentina could become a member on January 1 next year, a group of countries that could help it escape the noose of financial and economic dependence.

Milei, according to Bloomberg Economics, a former lawmaker with no executive experience, has built his platform by linking Argentina’s history of high inflation to the decline of the political class through profanity-filled tirades on television talk shows. Illustrating his promise to «drastically reduce the size of the state» (what would that mean?), Milei regularly declared that he would «tear it to pieces, waving a chainsaw at the huge street rallies that have come to symbolize his opposition to the status quo».

International Monetary Fund officials, meanwhile, have urged the next government to quickly reboot the economy, emphasizing that there is no time to build up. Argentina faces a $22 billion external debt payment next year, including interest owed to international bondholders and the IMF, which will require «a large current account surplus against the backdrop of the stabilization plan», according to Martin Castellano, head of Latin American studies at the Institute of International Finance. The fate of Argentina’s $43 billion program with the IMF now rests with Milei.

Benjamin Gedan, head of the Wilson Center’s Argentina project, said he believes the magnitude of Milei’s victory is explained in one word: desperation.

Milei, during a tumultuous election season, became best known as an eccentric. A former rock musician who once performed in a Rolling Stones tribute band, the disheveled-haired Milei was both an economist and a TV and radio commentator.

Juan Luis González, an Argentine journalist and unofficial biographer of Milei, called him El Loco (Psycho), because the sharpness of his mind and his inability to lead were epitomized by his widely known and ridiculed choice of advisors: Conan, Murray, Milton, Robert, and Lucas. They are Mastiffs, «my four-legged grandchildren», five dogs he called «the best strategists».

It all started in 2004 when Milei, childless and unmarried, got an English mastiff named Conan ( named after the movie character «Conan the Barbarian»). González wrote in the Buenos Aires Times that the pet became, in Milei’s words, his «true and greatest love», and that Milei considered Conan «literally his son».

When Conan died in 2017, Milei visited the medium to communicate with his beloved pet, according to Argentine press reports. According to Milei, it was in that «telepathic conversation that Conan told him to become president of Argentina». According to Argentine newspaper La Nacion, Milei believes that he and Conan first met in a past life over 2,000 years ago, they were then a gladiator and a lion in the Roman Colosseum, but the pair did not clash because they were destined to join forces in the future.

According to Reuters and the New York Times, in 2018, Mealey paid about $50,000 to US company PerPETuate to clone Conan using his DNA. Five puppies were born, which Milei named after Conan’s dad and economists Murray Rothbard, Milton Friedman and Robert Lucas. Milei regularly refers to the Conan clone as his son and the other four dogs as his «grandchildren».

González and other Argentine news outlets have reported that Milei consults with his dogs and holds meditation sessions with them on his campaign, politics and more. In an interview with Spanish newspaper 20minutos, González said, Milei «is convinced that the dogs advise him in different areas: one in politics, one in economics, one gives him general advice».

When The Economist asked him in September if this was true, «Milei did not deny it, replying with notable pride: ‘They say that the dogs determine my strategy, right? That they’re like a strategic committee? They’re the best strategic committee in the world. Tell me, when has an outsider ever achieved what we’ve achieved in two years? If so, they’re the best political analysts in the world».

The pro-American military dictatorship that terrorized Argentines from 1976 to 1983 used dobermans to torture suspects, especially women and girls.

As of December 10, a new junta, now made up of mastiffs, with the help of psychics, will rule Argentina for the next 5 years. I’m afraid this is not the case, of which the poet Heinrich Heine said, «The more I get to know people, the more I like dogs».